Oh hai, and happy post-Caturday to you.
I’m out on the catio chillaxing, so mom’s driving today.
Not to worry. Mom’s checking in on me, to make sure she gets all the details right.
The reason I’m needing extra catio time today is because I had an eventful Caturday and week in general.
It all started when Mom and auntie removed a big clump of matted fur that was hiding under my collar with some of auntie’s blunt sewing scissors on Wednesday.
Mom kept telling auntie, while she was trying to cut the fur that was clinging desperately to my throat, “Oh my God. Do you feel that? It’s all tangled up here, right on his throat. Oh, I hope I don’t hurt him.”
In case you’re wondering, this didn’t help matters. At all.
Eventually, auntie took over. She’s more experienced with sewing scissors and had a better angle, so no one got hurt.
They got most of it and decided my vet should just shave the nubs that mom and auntie left.
Mom upgraded my brush collection yesterday on Amazon, and is letting me run around without my collar until she gets this whole grooming situation figured out.
This is what we currently use.
And this is what we’re getting, based on Mama J’s recommends, so mom can prevent scaring the bejeezus out of me in the future.
Mom also washed all my binkies, so I was without binky for several hours on Caturday, which was rough, to say the least.
Even the Sad Face Didn’t Work
And then there’s the issue of the baby kitty grass, not quite juicy enough to eat. Mom grows it for me every six weeks or so. I have to do without my stash for an entire week while waiting for the new crop to come in. In case you’re wondering, it’s super hard whenever that happens.
I want to eat this, but it’s not ready yet, so all I can do is stare at it until it fills out some more.
We also had to do dishes on Friday. I helped mom put them away yesterday.
And mom’s been getting fake Presidential alerts from her friend Matt, who’s giving her a hard time about Friday’s post, because he’s impish like that. It could also be because he kinda has a free pass, since he’s the one who taught her how to put her phone on silent in the first place and, recently, how to bypass Presidential alerts and still be assured your alarm will go off the next morning.
Mom and Matt said I could share their early morning satire fest with you.
Matt (4 a.m.): My fellow Americans, this is an emergency text from President Obama, reminding you that J.D. is super adorable.
Me (4:02 a.m.): Mr. President, thank you for noticing my cat’s adorableness. In the future, however, please adhere to the 10 to 10 rule. I was up this time, so I’ll let this infraction slide. PS: Stop taking selfies when you’re out with Michelle. That’s almost as bad as controlling the alert settings in my phone.
Matt (7:02 a.m.): Ms. Ceres, as President, you know these messages are sent only to alert the public of things of national importance, like your cat’s adorableness and reminding you of the latest buzzword. Shamzazzle! PS: As First Lady, Michelle is expected to make for certain allowances in the public eye.
Me (7:03 a.m.): Mr. President, this is a blatant abuse of power and disregard for your wife’s well-being. If you were allowed a third term, I would vote for the opposing candidate out of spite.
Matt (9:12 a.m.): Ms. Ceres, there’s no need to resort to insults. Let’s keep it clean.
Me (9:13 a.m.): Mr. President, Get over yourself.
As you can see, with all this going on, I barely had time to make anything for you this morning, but I did manage this.
Baby Rhino Loses Party Hat while Chasing Poacher
In closing, mom says the 10 to 10 rule doesn’t really affect her, so you needn’t send her fake Presidential alerts at all hours, because she silences her phone at night and knows how to bypass the Presidential alerts now, fake or otherwise.