Can we have our food now, pleez?

Oh hai. Happy Moon’s day.

I hope things are going well for you.

Mom gave me extra treats today, because she ordered delivery, so I’m super happy.

I made this while we were waiting, because I’m prophetic like that.


Archangel Michael and His Legion of Angels Preparing to Battle the Delivery Demon

Mom ordered Chinese food from Lotus Garden. They make this spicy tofu with basil over steamed rice that mom just loves. I don’t like tofu, but I do like to watch mom eat it with chopsticks. It looks like fun.

When mom opened the door, she was so happy, because she was thinking about how much she loves this food and how perfect it would be to have for leftovers tomorrow at work.

And then it happened.

The delivery guy saw me. I was standing right in the middle of the living room. The sun was beaming down on my long silky coat. My eyes twinkled while he told mom what a pretty cat I was. I began to purr, because it’s true.

Mom likes it when people comment on me, so she thanked him and signed the receipt.

She even gestured for the bag, but the guy kept talking about me and asking if I was a boy kitty like his cat.

That’s when I started to get uncomfortable, so I hid behind the counter, hoping he’d run out of things to say.

Thinking of My Next Piece

Pleez stop talking to mom. She needs to eat.

But he kept going on about how he had a cat just like me and wanted to know where mom got me.

Mom told him, but I could tell she was getting hungry, because she kept looking at the bag of food, wondering when the guy was going to let her eat.

The delivery guy said he got his cat at Petco and thought maybe mom had gotten me there, too.

Mom was like no, and the guy kept going on about how his cat looked just like me and how there was a girl cat that looked like me at Petco last weekend.

Mom said that was nice, but I think she was starting to wonder if Archangel Michael really could battle delivery demons, or if that was only for pate art captions.

I could tell mom was starting to get confused. She’d already paid the delivery guy and exchanged a few of the requisite pleasantries, but he kept talking.

Finally, she reached for the bag and said thank you for the food and wished the guy a nice evening.

And he left. And mom dead-bolted the door.

But now mom feels we need to talk about delivery etiquette. She says just like handshakes start to get weird after a few seconds if the other party won’t let go, the same principle applies to delivery guys who won’t stop talking to you after you pay for your food.

So we wrote a letter to clear up any confusion:

Dear delivery people,

Thank you for bringing us our food.

Here’s your money and a tip.

We’re glad you like cats.

But we need you to stop talking now, so we can eat.

Thank you.

Mom hopes the delivery people read our letter.

I do, too. That last guy was kinda weird.


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