Aiding and Abetting

Oh, hai. You know that expression it comes in threes, when referring to bad luck?

Well this week, I, and two of my accomplices, got caught in an organized crime spree, spurred by Tuesday’s full moon.

Mom says we have to post my mug shot, because confession is good for the soul.

caught red-handed

The full moon made me do it.

As much as I hate to rat on my buddies, mom says we have to come clean, especially since there was an eyewitness at the scene.

Dude, I saw everything. I think I need therapy.

Spike the unicorn was questioned earlier. We are releasing his statement to the press, in case you were curious what kinds of things unicorns said or how they were affected by crime sprees, “Dude, I saw everything. I think I need therapy or at least a triple rainbow to quell all this nausea. I thought these guys were cool. That I could trust them, you know?”

It all started when my cousin Molly was caught in an act of unlawful possession. Earlier this week, her mom was making a quilt, and Molly was specifically told that this batting was not hers. Molly, unfortunately, was unable to resist.

unlawful possession

I have no regrets. None. In fact, I’d do it again. In a heartbeat.

Soon after, I was caught breaking and entering. Spike and mom both saw me running around like a wild monkey, looking for mischief of the grandest sorts.

Breaking and entering

I wonder if I could hide Spike’s remains in here.

And then there is this guy, known in some circles as Gansta Kangaroo. Authorities apprehended him earlier this week when there were reports of gunfire in the bush.

Gangsta kangagroo

I didn’t think I’d need a silencer out in the middle of BFA. Boy was I wrong.

Mom wanted me to post these, so I would remember that crime doesn’t pay and that every criminal eventually gets caught, like this guy who was caught on video in the act of cat burglary, which is a serious offense in the state of Texas.

Who knows? Maybe we’re watching too many crime dramas late at night. I am at an impressionable age, after all. Mom made me do some community service today to pay off my debt to society.

Two more weeks of dish duty. FML.

Until next time, homies…

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